My Baby
Monsters

The true story of a little girl's imaginary world.

Cluck cluck —
In Magic World,
you won't get hit by a car
if you cross the street
without looking…
but you might
get run over by fast food.

Cluck cluck –
There are no cars in Magic World,
only chickens.
Fast chickens
as big as horses
that lay invisible eggs
the size of peas.

Cluck cluck,
If you need to get somewhere fast,
just ask a chicken.
The chicken will lay
1, 2, or 102 eggs
that double in size
until they are big enough
for you to ride.

Cluck cluck,
I hear
the eggs
are delicious,
but I never tried them,
because I couldn't find them.

Have fun,
– Josie

Once upon a time
there was a little dog
named Ruff
who loved to Meow.

All the other dogs
made fun of
the little dog
named Ruff
who loved to Meow,
so he ate them.

Okay,
so he didn't eat them,
he just nibbled on their bones.

Meow!

Have fun,
– Josie

The true story of a little girl's imaginary world.

There are no broken hearts
in Magic World,
only melted ones,
because everyone is made of ICE CREAM.

That's why I left Magic World
for the Real World.
I was in trouble,
it was a very hot day.

But even if I didn't turn
into a pool of ooze,
I still would have died
if I stayed in Magic World.

Because the planet
was destroyed
by alien monsters.
Alien monsters called DOOM!

DOOM! looked like purple Jello
with two thousand eyes.

DOOM! wore sunset pink shirts
and blue sky skirts.

DOOM! also posed like little girls
and liked to sing,

"I'm a Barbie Women
in a Magic World.
I'm fantastic
and you are blasted."

Have fun,
– Josie

The true story of a little girl's imaginary world.

It's easy to know if you caught
the Dreaded Lollipop Disease,
because you get multi-colored bumps
all over your body.
Bumps which are
sweet if you lick them…
and that's what makes
the Dreaded Lollipop Disease
so uncomfortable,
because when you catch
the Dreaded Lollipop Disease,
kids all over Magic World
chase you
to taste your flavors.

You catch
the Dreaded Lollipop Disease
by eating too many lollipops.
So be careful,
because if you catch
the Dreaded Lollipop Disease
you need to eat
the Even More Dreaded
Lollypop Medicine.

The Even More Dreaded
Lollypop Medicine
is a very dumb,
smart medicine,
because it won't let you
open your mouth
wide enough to eat
more than one lollipop a day
for a whole year.

But don't worry,
tomorrow my year is up.

And I plan to have fun,
– Josie

The true story of a little girl's imaginary world.

In Magic World,
the babies
NEVER scream,
NEVER cry,
and
most
certainly
NEVER keep me awake all night.

I miss living in Magic World
and sleeping
with my head
above
the
pillOW.

Have fun,
– Josie